[This was emailed to me after the Shoemaker-Levy Comet collided with 
Jupiter in July of 1994.]

Dateline 18 July 94:

NASA and The Red Cross have issued an urgent request for supplies to 
aid the injured and displaced on Jupiter.  The continuing series of 
comet impacts have destroyed many villages and prime farming ground.

Urgently needed items include: purified methane, antenna and bugeye 
warmers, and ice packs (which the Jovians use as heating pads, of 
course). Local supplies of methane and ammonia are largely contaminated 
and help is needed as soon as possible.  Send all supplies to your 
local launch pad.