We Three Christmas Songs

You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch

You´re a mean one, Mr. Grinch
You really are a heel,
You´re as cuddly as a cactus, you´re as charming as an eel, Mr. Grinch,
You´re a bad banana with a greasy black peel!

You´re a monster, Mr. Grinch,
Your heart´s an empty hole,
Your brain is full of spiders, you have garlic in your soul, Mr. Grinch,
I wouldn´t touch you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!

You´re a foul one, Mr. Grinch,
You have termites in your smile,
You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile, Mr. Grinch,
Given a choice between the two of you I´d take the seasick crocodile!

You´re a rotter, Mr. Grinch,
You´re the king of sinful sots,
You´re a heart of dead tomato washed with moldy purple spots, Mr. Grinch,
You´re a three decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce!

You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch,
With a nauseous super "naus"!,
You´re a crooked dirty jockey and you drive a crooked hoss, Mr. Grinch,
Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing with the most disgraceful
assortment of rubbish imaginable mangled up in tangled up knots!

You´re a foul one, Mr. Grinch,
You´re a nasty wasty skunk,
Your heart is full of unwashed socks, your soul is full of gunk, Mr. Grinch,
The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote,
"Stink, stank, stunk"!

The Heat Miser Song

(Heat Miser)
I´m Mister Green Christmas
I´m Mister Sun
I´m Mister Heat Blister
I´m Mister Hundred and One
They call me Heat Miser,
What ever I touch
Starts to melt in my clutch
I´m too much!

(Chorus)
He´s Mister Green Christmas
He´s Mister Sun
He´s Mister Heat Blister
He´s Mister Hundred and One

(Heat Miser)
They call me Heat Miser,
What ever I touch
Starts to melt in my clutch

(Chorus)
He´s too much!

(Heat Miser)
Thank you!
I never want to see a day
That´s under sixty degrees
I´d rather have it eighty,
Ninety, one hundred degrees!
(spoken)
Oh, some like it hot, but I like it
REALLY hot! Hee hee!

(Chorus)
He´s Mister Green Christmas
He´s Mister Sun

(Heat Miser)
Sing it!

(Chorus)
He´s Mister Heat Blister
He´s Mister Hundred and One

(Heat Miser)
They call me Heat Miser,
What ever I touch
Starts to melt in my clutch
I´m too much!

(Everybody)
Too Much!

The Snow Miser Song

[Snow Miser]
I´m Mister White Christmas
I´m Mister Snow
I´m Mister Icicle
I´m Mister Ten Below
Friends call me Snow Miser,
What ever I touch
Turns to snow in my clutch
I´m too much!

[Chorus]
He´s Mister White Christmas
He´s Mister Snow

[Snow Miser]
That´s right!

[Chorus]
He´s Mister Icicle
He´s Mister Ten Below

[Snow Miser]
Friends call me Snow Miser,
What ever I touch
Turns to snow in my clutch

[Chorus]
He´s too much!

[Snow Miser]
I never want to see a day
That´s over forty degrees
I´d rather have it thirty,
Twenty, ten, five and let it freeeeEEEEEEeeze!

[Chorus]
He´s Mister White Christmas
He´s Mister Snow

[Snow Miser]
That´s right!

[Chorus]
He´s Mister Icicle
He´s Mister Ten Below

[Snow Miser]
Friends call me Snow Miser,
What ever I touch
Turns to snow in my clutch
... too much.

[Everybody]
Too Much!

If you want copies of (large) WAV files with many Christmas songs, go here.

See the 2000 Christmas Main Page

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