Chemist's tale

A chemistry student I know killed his chem teacher after seeing
his report card.  Stuck with the dead teacher, the student
decided to Ba in his flower garden.  But the police suspected the
boy, so one Cu was dispatched to his house.  Of course, before
leaving the police station, the Cu saluted his lieutenant.  The
boy's house was just half finished, and they hadn't put the F.
The Cu searches the house in vain, but all traces of blood Ar.
The policeman wandered out into the backyard.  "Why," he
commented, "the views out here are certainly As."  The boy's dog,
Rin Sn Sn, wandered out into the trail of blood that Pb to the
flower bed.  Beads of sweat formed on the poor boy's forehead,
for he knew that Helium must act--it was Zn or swim.  If that
body was found his life wouldn't be worth a plug Ni.  For the
moment his thoughts wandered, as he thought about how a murderer
lowers the value of a house--what would the house S after his
conviction?  He remembered his parents talking about him shortly
before the murder: "That boy's grown up too P; he's just getting
out of hand.  Some day he is going to kill somebody."  The lawmen
were now digging in the dirt of the garden.  The boy was frantic.
Suddenly, from out of nowhere rang a shot, and a mighty
"hydrogen-iodine-holium-Ag."  It was the fearless masked man of
the plains--but instead of riding a horse, he drove a '59 Hg.
The boy had been saved indium nick of time, and before the young
murderer had time to thank him, the masked rider was gone with a
roar of glass-packed mufflers, leaving the boy in a cloud of
blue-white exhaust, with his Pt hair covered with dust.  Oxygen,
was that kid happy--he had beaten the rap and the Cu's were left
without a solution to the mysterious murder of the teacher.  In
his exuberance the boy drove over to the county fair to
celebrate.  But crime does not pay--for in his dizzy
exhilaration, the murderer fell to his death from the top of the
Fe wheel.